philippe: (⚔ with uncertain resolve)
[personal profile] philippe
[ Good day, residents of Discedo, Spero and Dissimulo! Today you are going to be grace with the image of a rather attractive regal figure wandering down Main street in Dissimulo with some degree of confusion. There's probably between five hundred thousand and a few million euros worth in jewels on him, not to mention the finest silks, a gorgeous hat and a bright feather adorning the side of his hat, not to mention the most ridiculous tights stretched over his legs. ]

[ Ah, yes. It's good to be the king. ]

[ But, maybe not so much in Philippe's opinion. ]

Hello? Is there anyone here? [ Spoken in fluent, albeit it 17th century accented French, it's clear the poor boy is terrified. Not a very kingly way to act indeed. The wandering figure pauses in step, glancing from side to side, then furrows his brows. ]

If there is indeed someone in this village, I would like very much to speak with him. This is the King of France, King Louis of France, and I-- [ Faltering. ] --I...

It... would be appreciated if anyone would be so kind as to speak to me now. [ With a nod, though an unsure one. ] As you should at a king's request. [ Glancing down, mumbling. ] But if you don't wish to, that is fine as well...

[ And with that, the feed cuts out. The poor boy didn't even know it was on, though. ]

Date: 2011-11-15 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] letatcestpasmoi.livejournal.com
[ Staring. ]

[ So much staring. ]

[ He doesn't really know English. Maybe a little bit. He learned a little in the country side, but more Latin, and really, he only knows French. ]

Um, bonjour, je suis le roi de France. Pouvez-vous m'aider? Je me suis perdu.

[ Aaaaand a smile to punctuate that. He'll try his hand at English if that doesn't work, but he's supposed to make people conform to his standards, not him to theirs. And then him to theirs, so he can look like a fair king. Even though it's probably end up like something out of one of the Pink Panther films... ]

Date: 2011-11-15 12:28 am (UTC)
starspangledhero: (Dude we started an urban legend!)
From: [personal profile] starspangledhero
[ America would decipher that if he cared to, but he doesn't. Fuck French. Them and their dropping out of NATO. It's like they don't even know the meaning of friendship. ]

Hola! Je ne sais pas. Nachos. Baguette! Eiffel tower. Canada.

[ Maybe if he says strange words at different inflections this strange man while comprehend him. This plan is fucking foolproof. ]

Date: 2011-11-15 12:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] letatcestpasmoi.livejournal.com
[ He blinks. ]

Ah... [ Glancing down, then swallowing before glancing back up at him with a slight smile. ] I am the King of France. --[ Another pause, as he's not sure how to ask for the man's name, but he just says: ] --and you?

Date: 2011-11-15 12:48 am (UTC)
starspangledhero: (You threw the manual in a supernova?)
From: [personal profile] starspangledhero
[ Staring. ]

...Charles de Gaulle? I thought you retired! And where'd your freaky mustache go? You finally figured out that it makes you look like one of those guys in the child safety promos that cruise around in white vans, didn't you.

I'm America! Duh! How can you forget the face of the most fantastic country you ever met and then viciously scorned because you can't get over the fact I'm more handsome than France?

Date: 2011-11-15 06:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] letatcestpasmoi.livejournal.com
Charles de Gaulle? [ A hand to his face, and he just looks hopelessly confused at the man before him, swallowing and bowing his head before tilting his head to the side. ]

Am-er-ica. Ámerique? [ Motioning to him. ] Ravis de vous rencontrer, monsieur Ámerique. Ah... [ Yeah ok like he followed anything America was saying. He motions around him. ] Where... is we?

Date: 2011-11-15 06:16 am (UTC)
starspangledhero: (DWIGHT YOU IGNORANT SLUT.)
From: [personal profile] starspangledhero
Damn right it is!

[ The sad part is that America is intentionally holding a one-sided conversation because he is a dick. A DICK WHO BELIEVES IN THE VALUE OF ENGLISH!!! ]

Short answer, you're in Dissimulo. Long answer, you're on another world. [ he nods as though any of this makes sense in any language. ]

Date: 2011-11-19 07:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] letatcestpasmoi.livejournal.com
Oui, bien sûr.

[ And Philippe is growing more and more confused... He raises a brow. ]

Je regret, mais quoi? [ Staring, horrified at America. ] I... can not understand... you.

Date: 2011-11-19 08:45 pm (UTC)
starspangledhero: (She's obviously a vampire!)
From: [personal profile] starspangledhero
I'm not going to speak in French.

[ except he says this in French. ]

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